Last Issue: A Potpourri

Hey everybody, I've got some news: There's an election coming up. I'm sure very few of you were aware of this. But I thought I would let you know. Just in case.

You see, about half of you eligible voters out there in America actually vote. Which, if you will pardon my language, pisses me the hell off. Especially now. With the fate of the whole planet on the line.

Let me put it this way: I can't fathom being of-age in this strange and wonderful land and NOT voting. It's like going to a restaurant and eating off other people's plates. Better yet, it's like hopping on board a runaway train headed straight for oblivion and settling back for a little cat nap.

Anyway...enough tortured analogies. You get the picture. If you live in America and you're still “undecided,” Brother, you better get yourself a breath mint because we're making one big shit sandwich and we're all going to have to take a bite.

Needless to say, I want John Kerry to win the election. By the time you read this, it'll all probably be over. At least the election will be over. I hope the world's still around. I have my doubts. Have a nice day...and sleep well.