Archives:

Tip#1: Begin at the beginning

Tip #2: See the whole

Tip #3: Learn to walk before you run

Tip #4: Read, read, read!

Tip #5: Never take advice from blowhard authors with personal websites

Tip # 6: Strive for a story that resonates

Nowadays, with such an insidious, bottom-line, blockbuster-obsessed mentality infesting every corner of the publishing industry, you will inevitably be considered a failure immediately after you publish your first novel. Why? Because there is no such thing as a mid-list author anymore. There are only three basic types of fiction writers: The Name Brand. The Next Big Thing. And...Where Are They Now?

Obviously very few of us will ever become the first. And too many of us have become the third. So the idea is, always be the second. Always be the new kid. The first timer. The prodigy. All you need is an endless supply of pseudonyms.

Which brings me to my tip. I recommend using one of two techniques for coming up with a snappy nom de plume:

1) Use your "pornstar" name: Your middle name, followed by the street you live on. (Mine is Robert Forest).

2) Use your "transvestite" name: Your first family pet's name, followed by your mother’s maiden name. (I’m the fabulous, glamorous Gypsy Erickson).